Saturday, June 6, 2020

A bad week

This will be sort of random.

This past week was hard. Last weekend there were all the protests for Black Lives Matter after George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis, followed by the rioting, looting, police misbehavior, and all that. Even here we had a riot with fires and looting downtown, followed by two nights of curfew although the protesting has continued daily. The National Guard came in and set up a perimeter downtown with their big vehicles and military equipment and it wasn't good to see that we've come to that during a pandemic.

Yeah, remember the pandemic? Still happening.

On Monday afternoon our governor suddenly canceled her stay-at-home order that was supposed to last another two weeks. Businesses are starting to open, retail on Thursday, dine-in restaurants next Monday. Of course that is a good thing for business owners and employees, but the virus is still out there and this increases the probability of more infections.

On Tuesday I was notified (by about six different emails) that my science faculty colleagues and I have permission to return to work on campus, starting June 15. We had to do some online training related to COVID-19 safety, which actually was good. That was due by yesterday Starting next week we all have to do an online self-check before 9 am every day whether we're coming to campus or not. After June 15 we're allowed to come on certain days of the week to keep occupancy less than 50%. I get Monday, Thursday, and afternoon on Wednesday.

On Tuesday I learned a friend was laid off. He worked in student activities for a small college in California. He lost his on-campus housing at the same time, so now he's planning to move back to his parents' house in Pennsylvania because there are no jobs open. Colleges and universities are not hiring. I want to help, but what can I do? I don't want him to move in with me, and he'd rather live with his own family anyway.

On Thursday the college president announced that we will be starting fall semester one week earlier than previously planned. 

On Friday the college president announced that we have eliminated fall break and will end the semester on the Friday before Thanksgiving. The whole week of Thanksgiving will be break, followed by a week of "virtual assessment" which I think means online final exams. This makes our 15.5 week semester (already shortened a year ago from 16 weeks) now only 14 weeks. Over the last three years I have needed to cut two full weeks out of all my fall semester courses, and it is maddening.

Friday afternoon I attended the college's Vigil for Racial Justice on Zoom, which was organized by our Student Senate (good on them!). I cried (who cares about my tears). It was really nice. The chaplain prayed, the president gave a good speech, the director of the diversity center spoke, and we had a moment of silence (actually more like 5 minutes of silence) while a presentation of the black lives lost played on screen.

The virus is still out there. I'm still facing the probability that I will teach all my courses online, from my second-floor spare room or from my campus office/bunker. Everything is on fire and it's all unfair, but especially unfair to non-white people so why do I think I have anything to complain about? Last night I had trouble sleeping again, so I got up and read a book for an hour or so and then fell asleep on the sofa until 6 am.

There were some nice things this week. Let's see...I put up the umbrella and lawn chairs I bought last week and I look forward to enjoying them.


On Friday I got to chat over Zoom with a friend from college I haven't seen in years (how is that possible?) It was so good to see her, and talk for an hour. I kind of miss having friends.

Last weekend BAM and I played Tales of the Arabian Nights over Zoom with some friends here in town. And we had our regular game group over Zoom Tuesday night. 

Today after lunch I spent two hours cleaning maple seeds and other debris out of the gutters. It felt useful to climb the big ladder and scoop muck and flush the downspouts. I got muddy and sweaty, scraped my knee on the ladder. I had to strip off all my clothes in the garage and take a second shower afterwards. I saw my neighbor, who was also doing yard work. 

I really want things to be "normal" again... but I don't also. Things weren't so great before the pandemic, for a lot of people. I don't want to just forget all of that because it doesn't directly affect me. I'm confused, and worried about the future, and overwhelmed by my work responsibilities (but I feel guilty because I have a job when so many people don't). Half the days I don't want to face getting out of bed, but I do because at least I can go for a walk in the park after breakfast and that calms me. What am I going to do when I can't take that walk every day? When winter comes again and it's dark and cold? When the virus finally catches up with me or people I love?

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